This is so tough. It's funny how hard farming can be when it wants to be. We just have a small farm. I think that makes the losses huge. Lily kidded this morning, finally. She had twin boys. One is tan with black and white markings while the other looked like her, and, unfortunately, like Betsy's kid, Sydney. Lily and Betsy don't get along the best. Lily and Betsy's kid got along even less. Lily has totally rejected her little white kid. She completely bonded with the tan one. And, oh, it gets worse. We have the white kid in the house in a box with a towel so he doesn't freeze to death as he starves to death. He refuses to eat anything. He will not take a bottle. I've tried some milk replacer. I even milked Lily, as she has the colostrum he would definitely need. He will not take a bottle. He's dying, and there isn't a thing I can do about it.
Betsy was even a little confused as to which kid was hers, so there is a lot of similarity between her kid and Lily. If there was any way I could help this little kid make it, I would. But if he won't eat, he won't even swallow when a large syringe is put down his throat, I can't do a thing but make him comfortable and let him die.
Sometimes I hate farming. Sometimes I feel like such a failure.